YOU ARE WHAT YOU DRIVE

2005 Toyota Camry

YOU ARE WHAT YOU DRIVE Is the car you drive a symbolic expression of your identity? Or, is it the other way around? Do car owners take on the personality of the car they drive? Do cars and car owners begin to look like each other after a while? Do people judge you by the car you drive? LA Car published its first "You Are What You Drive" back in 1997. We think it's time for an update. BTW, you might want to take this scientific study with a grain of salt (otherwise, LA Car has three thugs, one SAG member, a couple of lemmings, and an aspiring pimp on its staff!). The statements car owners are really making: Acura RL - I'm too bland for German cars BMW 745i - I am so rich I will pay $70K for a car that is in the shop 280 days per year Buick LeSabre - I am older than 34 of the 50 states Cadillac Escalade - I am an aspiring pimp Chrysler 300C - see Cadillac Escalade Chevrolet Camaro - I enjoy beating the hell out of people Chevrolet Corvette - I'm in mid-life crisis Daewoo Nubira - I learned nothing from the failure of Daihatsu Corporation Ford Explorer - to me, "off road" means pulling into my driveway Ford Mustang - see Chevrolet Camaro Ford Crown Victoria - I enjoy having people slow to 55 mph and change lanes when I pull up behind them Honda Civic - this was a requirement of my high school dress code Honda Accord - I lack any originality and am basically a lemming Honda Odyssey - I now have two kids, so I need a bus to haul them Hummer H2 - I suffer from erectile dysfunction Infiniti Q45 - I am a physician with 4-5 malpractice suits pending Kia Rio - I delivered pizza for four years to get this car Lincoln Town Car - I live for bingo and covered dish suppers Maybach 57 - I will beat you up if you ask me for an autograph Mercury Grand Marquis - see Buick LaSabre Mazda Miata - I do not fear being decapitated by an eighteen-wheeler Mitsubishi Lancer - I am just out of high school and have no credit Oldsmobile Cutlass - I just stole this car and I'm going to make a fortune off the parts Dodge Neon - I sincerely enjoy doing the macarena Pontiac GTO (2004-05) - I enjoy driving a car that looks like a Chevrolet Cavalier Pontiac Trans Am - I have a switchblade in my sock and a CB radio on the dash Porsche 911 - see Hummer H2 Range Rover - I have too much money and enjoy spending it on driveway ornaments Rolls Royce Phantom - I think Pat Buchanan is a tad bit too liberal Subaru Baja - I used to drive Pontiacs and missed the body cladding Toyota Camry - see Honda Accord Toyota Prius - I am an actor and this is a Screen Actors Guild dress code requirement Volkswagen New Beetle - I do not give a damn about J.D. Power or his report Volkswagen Jetta TDI - I can endlessly tolerate hearing, "Isn't a hybrid better?" Volvo V70 Wagon - I am frightened of my wife Send us your own suggestions for car statements: Letter to the Editor