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Published on
Sat, Aug 28, 2004
By:
The LACar Editorial Staff
2005
Toyota Camry
YOU ARE WHAT YOU DRIVEIs the car you drive a symbolic expression of your identity? Or, is it the
other way around? Do car owners take on the personality of the car they drive?
Do cars and car owners begin to look like each other after a while? Do people
judge you by the car you drive? LA Car published its first "You
Are What You Drive" back in 1997. We think it's time for an update. BTW,
you might want to take this scientific study with a grain of salt (otherwise, LA
Car has three thugs, one SAG member, a couple of lemmings, and an aspiring
pimp on its staff!).
The statements car owners are really making:
Acura RL - I'm too bland for German cars
BMW 745i - I am so rich I will pay $70K for a car that is in the shop 280 days
per year
Buick LeSabre - I am older than 34 of the 50 states
Cadillac Escalade - I am an aspiring pimp
Chrysler 300C - see Cadillac Escalade
Chevrolet Camaro - I enjoy beating the hell out of people
Chevrolet Corvette - I'm in mid-life crisis
Daewoo Nubira - I learned nothing from the failure of Daihatsu Corporation
Ford Explorer - to me, "off road" means pulling into my driveway
Ford Mustang - see Chevrolet Camaro
Ford Crown Victoria - I enjoy having people slow to 55 mph and change lanes when
I pull up behind them
Honda Civic - this was a requirement of my high school dress code
Honda Accord - I lack any originality and am basically a lemming
Honda Odyssey - I now have two kids, so I need a bus to haul them
Hummer H2 - I suffer from erectile dysfunction
Infiniti Q45 - I am a physician with 4-5 malpractice suits pending
Kia Rio - I delivered pizza for four years to get this car
Lincoln Town Car - I live for bingo and covered dish suppers
Maybach 57 - I will beat you up if you ask me for an autograph
Mercury Grand Marquis - see Buick LaSabre
Mazda Miata - I do not fear being decapitated by an eighteen-wheeler
Mitsubishi Lancer - I am just out of high school and have no credit
Oldsmobile Cutlass - I just stole this car and I'm going to make a fortune off
the parts
Dodge Neon - I sincerely enjoy doing the macarena
Pontiac GTO (2004-05) - I enjoy driving a car that looks like a Chevrolet Cavalier
Pontiac Trans Am - I have a switchblade in my sock and a CB radio on the dash
Porsche 911 - see Hummer H2
Range Rover - I have too much money and enjoy spending it on driveway ornaments
Rolls Royce Phantom - I think Pat Buchanan is a tad bit too liberal
Subaru Baja - I used to drive Pontiacs and missed the body cladding
Toyota Camry - see Honda Accord
Toyota Prius - I am an actor and this is a Screen Actors Guild dress code
requirement
Volkswagen New Beetle - I do not give a damn about J.D. Power or his report
Volkswagen Jetta TDI - I can endlessly tolerate hearing, "Isn't a hybrid
better?"
Volvo V70 Wagon - I am frightened of my wife
Send us your own suggestions for car statements: Letter
to the Editor